I saw the big picture, and it was complicated, sobering. At first, the relief of reconciling was wonderful and I thought that the separation was really the last ingredient of moving past all this, and being happy again. And he’s a better man, father, and spouse for all that we have struggled together. Its either accepting this sadness and moving forward with what is otherwise good, or going through the pain, complication, and destruction of a divorce, a two-home co-parenting relationship, of introducing (eventually) new people, new family systems, into this increasingly complicated situation, a greater financial burden… Its been two months and I’m back to trying to wrap my head around this marriage. The man he is today is a kind, loving, generous, sweet, intelligent, successful man. And he is the father of my children, and a good father. We don’t have to sell the house, our home remains intact. On the other hand, I see the marriages of my friends and family members and, while they are not perfect and while I know that I can never really know what goes on in other marriages, there is a sort of… You know that feeling like, if you could do it all over again, of course you’d marry him? That you just accept him for all he is, and he accepts you, and that is what love is? We were able to experience, and imagine, what divorce and a two-home family would be like. Everyone would be okay no matter what direction we ultimately took. I would have married my ex-boyfriend if I knew then what I know now. Well, my “the One” certainly wouldn’t have spent 4 years screwing hookers. And, in truth, I see him for who he is TODAY and I don’t want to lose that man. I think I am at a place where I do believe a marriage can survive. I do believe there is life, together, beyond D-day and that the two people can even grow stronger, more real, than before. That you accept a life of peace and contentment, but not happiness. I saw that I didn’t have to stay for any fear, but I did see what life would be like if we really did divorce. I don’t want someone else to enjoy a life with this recovered/recovering, stable, matured version of him. But its like being between a rock and a hard place. We have never had a healthy sex life, until my sobriety.Fast forward to 2 years ago, I stopped drinking, began therapy, became more in touch with me and living my life in the present and commenced on a road of gratitude and appreciation for the blessings in my life.To say I was a good wife prior to my sobriety would be a lie, I was not in so many ways.
“Hi Jo Ann, I wrote you a few weeks ago, and have attached the email below. Turns out it is worse, so far admission of seeing to prostitutes, swears hand job only but he also swore he never met up with anyone. And happy to have the site for support Thanks so much, My So Called Life Hi Joann It was a breath of fresh air to find your site, and read through so many stories I could relate to.He was shocked that I had found him out, but offered only a little remorse.I believe he did so because he did not realize I had the phone records for the year because I did not go into a lot of detail about what I found.And then he did two things that sent red flags up for me.1.) he opened the phone bill and gave me the summary page only, i.e.